Okay. Not all the time. Sometimes, I get bogged down the administrative bureaucracy of it all. Sometimes, I wonder why the hell I waste my time in public service. I mean, there ARE jobs out there that pay nice paychecks and don’t involve tax funding and all that. Why not jump into the capitalist pool and have a nice, long soak? I. Like. Money.
The unfortunate thing (well, I guess that’s pretty pessimistic sounding) is that I LOVE people. Oh, I know. There are few reasons to explain this irrational emotion, but it’s the truth. I love the grimy, treacherous, dishonest, self absorbed creatures that we are. I love the bigoted, misogynist, destructive beings that are people. I don’t know why other than I see all that crap and buried inside the broken, I see the spark of the miraculous.
Working in a library, I get to see that spark constantly and have the privilege of fanning it.
Working as a director, I have the power to move past the impotence of rank and file. Having been rank and file previously, I remember the frustration of WANTING to do things but having to wait through levels of permission and planning and justification. It was dispiriting to say the least.
Yesterday, I was reminded that being a library director does two things. It puts me in contact with those creatures that I love so much and gives me the freedom to engage with them without all the levels of management judging my every move. I was able to spend an hour with a “former” teen who has been going through some difficult times and just be the ear and the voice of reason he needed. Did I hook him up with a bunch of self-help books and inspirational videos and all the other “stuff” that we have that could fit his situation? No. I welcomed him to this “place” that is the library and connected with him as that non-judgmental, safe person that is the librarian.
That’s why I ❤ my job.